May, almost June. The balmy, cool evenings are turning into warm humid nights. Yarrow is up for a second crop, valerian and pineapple sage are spreading nicely. Borage is heavy with blue blossoms and the basils are out of control! This year, a new herb that I am very excited about, Hibiscus Sab, is green, lush and growing with the idea that it belongs with the rest of my old friends in the garden.
I have no idea what is going to happen in the next few months..but I am no longer agonizing about the time that's passing. Something strange and wonderful happened to me when we lost that last farmhouse loan.
No longer running a race.
Took a breath...it felt full,and good.
Now that I am calm, peaceful, I know that everything will happen in the time it's supposed to.
Life is beginning to make sense.
My husband was offered a full time position with the company he had taken a temporary job, they gave him a raise and a plan for his future.
He has relaxed, and become more like the man I know and love.
We are closing our new loan on the 3rd of June and next week I have an appointment with the builders to pick out finishes and floors.
I am even working on myself. Yesterday started going to a weight loss clinic. Lots of pounds accumulated while I despaired about the direction we were going in.
I don't feel like I'm running after a dream, I feel like I'm catching up to myself.
Why didn't I remember the verse in the bible that said "He looks after the smallest creatures in the world, why wouldn't He look after you? Worry not, for it changes nothing."
O Lord, you are wise. You had it all figured out before I came along.